


Long Nights

by katie_049



Series: Nights (Season 16) [4]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Night Series, Post - 16x24, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2020-10-01 19:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20376193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katie_049/pseuds/katie_049
Summary: “Time to wake up, Eleanor,” the Israeli whispered softly, stroking through the blonde locks of his partner. “The cavalry has arrived. We’re getting out of here now.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,   
sorry for the radio silence the last few weeks. I was incredibly busy with uni and my internships and it left no time for writing. I have a couple of weeks off now, so I can finally write some more again. 
> 
> This will probably never happen, but it's the conclusion for this series. It will have two parts, maybe three, but I'm not sure yet. 
> 
> Thanks goes to my beta reader Shaquille_oatmeal726.

“NCIS, drop your weapons!” Nick shouted, aiming his gun at the two guys in front of him as he entered the dark room. One of the men reached for his gun and in a second Nick fired his own gun, the bang echoing through the room as the brown-haired man fell to the floor. Seconds later, Nick aimed his gun at the other man who lifted his hands in defeat. One of the SWAT team members who had entered the room behind him walked past Nick and pushed the guy to the ground.

Letting his eyes scan the dark room, Nick spotted another door in the back. With a quick nod of his head he gestured to one of the other SWAT team members to follow him. After crossing the room, one of the SWAT team members grabbed the handle of the door and with another nod from Nick, he opened it and Nick quickly entered, his gun raised. As he scanned the room, he found it to be empty and he cursed under his breath.

The warehouse was the third building they were searching this week and there was still no sign of Ellie or Ziva. Heat flushed through his body and he ground his teeth together to suppress his anger, but the thought of Ellie being hurt was unbearable to him and he slammed his fist into the wall behind him. He barely registered the pain, he just needed to find her.

“Torres, come to the back of the building,” Gibbs voice boomed through his earpiece and he felt his heart hammer against his chest. Turning around, he sprinted out of the room and made his way through the various rooms to the other side of the building. The warehouse was huge, and he passed at least ten different rooms until he stopped in front of McGee who was standing in front of another door.

“Where is she?” He pressed out, catching his breath as he holstered his gun. He glanced towards the door behind his colleague, stepping closer to it, but McGee stopped him, blocking his way.

“Nick, wait up,” he called out to him, raising his hands up.

“I don’t wanna wait, McGee. Let me see her now,” Nick growled, trying to step around him again, but McGee stepped into his way again, holding his arm up to block the door this time. Another wave of heat flushed through Nick’s body and he balled his hands into fist at his side.

“Nick, listen to me for a second,” Tim tried again, but Nick couldn’t stop to think about Ellie in the room, probably hurt and scared out of her mind. He just needed to see her, so he shoved Tim away this time, pushing past him.

The first thing he noticed as he entered the room was how terrible it smelled. It was only dimly lit, and his eyes adjusted to the dark a little too slow for his liking. He blinked a few times, trying to speed up the process. The soft dripping of water was the only sound heard next to a soft humming in the back of the room. As he was finally able to focus his eyes, he let them roam through the room until he spotted Gibbs standing a few feet away, staring at the far corner. Nick followed his gaze, until it landed on the two people, they had looked for during the last few weeks.

Ziva David was sitting with her back against the wall and his blonde partner was curled up next to her, her head resting in the older woman’s lap. She was only wearing a thin white top and her underwear, blood covering her clothing. Nick felt sick and his muscles started to quiver. He raised his hand to his mouth for a second, taking a deep breath, before slowly walking closer to Gibbs. The older man stopped him when Nick reached his side, sending him a side glance before looking back to the two women on the floor.

“Time to wake up, Eleanor,” the Israeli whispered softly, stroking through the blonde locks of his partner. “The cavalry has arrived. We’re getting out of here now.”

Ellie barely moved, only whimpering softly, burrowing her head deeper into Ziva’s lap.

“They gave her the last dose a few hours ago,” Ziva sounded up, looking over to them. “She’s through the worst again. She’s probably too exhausted now.” She nodded softly at Gibbs who approached them slowly.

Nick didn’t fully understand, but he followed his boss and they stopped in front of the two women. He immediately crouched down, reaching out to the blonde woman, but Ziva leveled him with a glare.

“Don’t talk to her,” she whispered and continued to stroke through the blonde’s hair.

Nick huffed, and he felt himself getting angrier with the Israeli woman in front of him. He was about to reply to her, when Gibbs voice sounded from above, “Listen to her.”

Nick closed his mouth again, his lips forming a tight line. He shrugged his jacket off, carefully laying it over his partner, before scoping her up into his arms. As he rose up from the floor with her, she curled into herself and he realized how thin she had gotten. She seemed lighter and he could feel her bones sticking out in places where they really shouldn’t.

Looking down at her, he could barely make out her face because she had turned it into his chest, her eyes closed shut. Her lower lip was swollen, and she was covered in grime and blood. He didn’t even want to imagine what other injuries she had or what other things those bastards did to her.

He pulled her closer, briefly pressing his lips to her head, before he turned around and made his way out of the building. He didn’t even register all the people around him on his way out, walking straight to the exit. Outside, he blinked a few times, adjusting to the light again as he headed straight for the ambulance that was standing a few feet away. The paramedics waited beside the stretcher as Nick gently lowered his partner down onto it.

She whimpered, her hand fisting his shirt and he leaned down to her, softly stroking through her hair just like Ziva had done earlier.

“No, please, don’t do it again,” she cried softly, trashing around the small stretcher, her hand holding onto his shirt.

Nick swallowed hard at her words, closing his eyes for a second. He pressed his lips against her forehead one more time, taking her hand gently into his hand prying her fingers away from his shirt.

“You’re safe now, Ellie. Nobody’s gonna hurt you again. I’m right here,” he murmured softly, pressing a kiss to her hand.

At the sound of his voice, her eyes flew open and she let out a loud scream as she zeroed in on him. “No, please leave me alone. You’re not real. I don’t wanna see you again,” she yelled, and Nick immediately let go of her. “You died and you left me. Just leave me alone, please,” she rasped, her chin and lips trembling.

“No, Ellie. I’m right here. I’m not dead,” he tried to assure her. His heart started to beat faster as his anger turned into panic. He reached for her hand, but she started to hit his hands away, screaming like she was in pain.

In the next second, Ziva came running from behind him, pushing him away from her and holding his partner down until one of the paramedics was able to give her a sedative. After the blonde woman passed out on the stretcher, Ziva turned around to him once again leveling him with a glare. “I told you not to speak to her.”

At first, Nick didn’t register Ziva’s words, his mind clouded with Ellie’s screams to let her go. He watched as the paramedics adjusted her position on the stretcher, strapping her onto the board. She was sleeping now, her eyes closed again and her head resting on her left cheek. The paramedics looked her over and Nick’s gaze slowly shifted to Ziva who stepped back towards Gibbs.

Remembering her words, his eyes narrowed. “I don’t take orders from you. You got her into this mess in the first place,” he hissed, putting his hands on his hips. “She’s been obsessed with you for months.”

“Torres, cut it out!” Gibbs growled, wrapping the Israeli woman in a blanket, the paramedic handed him. “It’s not Ziva’s fault.”

Deep down he knew there was truth behind his boss’ words, but his heart was still beating fast in his chest, telling him to blame someone for his partner’s injuries.

“Excuse me, sir. Do we know what they gave her?” One of the paramedics asked Gibbs as the loaded Ellie into the ambulance. Nick’s focus shifted to Ellie again, and he stepped closer to the ambulance, training his eyes on his partner. She was covered with a blanket now, still sleeping.

“They tested their new drug on her,” Ziva explained, pulling the blanket tighter around her. For the first time, Nick noticed that she wasn’t wearing much more than Ellie either. “It brings out your worst fear. They gave it to her at least two times a day.”

“Thank you, Ma’am. We’d like you to come with us too,” the paramedic told her. Ziva nodded, briefly looking back to Gibbs before climbing into the ambulance as well.

_It brings out your worst fear_. Ziva’s words echoed through his head over and over again, mixing with Ellie’s screams to leave her alone. He swallowed hard as he began to realize the reason for her screams. Her worst fear was losing him.

_Him_. His beautiful blonde partner was scared out of her mind to lose him and he knew exactly how terrible that thought must be, mainly because he had the exact same thought during the last few days too.

He hadn’t been able to sleep at all, laying awake in his bed for hours on end, trying to come up with a different train of thoughts for their search. At times when his mind finally seemed to settle down, he got a whiff of the pillow she had used when sleeping over at his place and he had been wide awake again.

During the day, he barely had been able to concentrate because he was exhausted and out of his mind with fear of something happening to her. He had sat at his desk for hours on end, staring at her desk from across the bullpen. Kasie had gotten him coffee and food every now and then, trying to get him to eat more than just a bite, but he couldn’t keep anything down.

For Ellie, though it must have been worse. The drugs seemed to make her believe that he was actually dead, and he couldn’t even imagine – no he didn’t want to imagine a life without her.

Adrenaline rushed through his body and he felt every single muscle in his body go ridged. His vision tunneled as his eyes roamed around the handcuffed people that were led away by the SWAT team members. His eyes landed on Enrico Sanchez who they identified as the brain behind the whole operation. Granted, he was also only someone who had been given an assignment from the mysterious person in Canada who created these drugs. The same person that had created the drug that Emily Fornell had overdosed on.

Blinded with rage, he started to stomp towards Sanchez, not realizing that the ambulance was leaving. The two men who were standing next to him immediately stepped aside as he approached, obviously sensing his rage.

“You piece of shit!” Nick yelled at him, pushing him against one of the police cars, grabbing him by the throat. “What kind of sick bastard are you?”

As his hands were cuffed behind his back, Sanchez wasn’t able to move an inch, his back curved against the car, his head bent back. He eyed Nick through half-closed eyes. “You must be Nick then. Your pretty little girl has been screaming for you. Too bad she believes you’re dead now.”

Nick tightened his hold on the man’s neck, pushing him higher up the car. “Shut your mouth! You should be thankful that I’m not the one who caught you, otherwise you wouldn’t have made it out of the building,” Nick hissed, shoving the man in his hold against the car once more for good measure.

“You can’t do anything to me now,” Sanchez laughed at him. “She’s feisty, you know? Wouldn’t let me touch her, even after I gave her the drugs. Too bad, I really would have like to –”

Nick’s fist collided with Sanchez’s face before he could finish his sentence and he moaned in pain, blood covering his nose and mouth. A second later, Nick was pulled back by the shoulders, Gibbs appearing in front of him.

“You feel better now?” The older man asked, blocking his view to Sanchez.

Nick opened and closed his fist, stretching his fingers a few times, before eyeing his knuckles. They would bruise later, but he didn’t care. That bastard deserves far worse than just a bloody nose.

“I’m not gonna apologize to that scumbag,” Nick muttered, not meeting Gibbs eyes.

“Didn’t ask you to,” Gibbs replied, nodding his head to the parked cars behind Nick. “We’re going to the hospital now. I thought you might wanna come too.”

Shaking his hand once again, Nick stepped to the side, eyeing Sanchez for a moment. The bleed in his nose had stopped, but his face was covered in blood now, running down his chin all the way to his neck and onto the neckline of his shirt where it soaked into the material. One of the SWAT team members was leading him away and Nick shock his head, before turning back to Gibbs.

“I’m ready.”


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better late than never! And surprise, there is gonna be a third part. I just couldn't resist.  
It's un-beta'd again, sorry.

Standing in front of the window to Ellie’s room, Nick chewed on the inside of his cheek, biting down on the flesh. He wasn’t allowed to go inside. After the incident at the scene, Gibbs and now also her doctors told him to stay away from her. They wanted to assess her mental state once she was awake. What did that even mean? Assess her mental state. It made her sound like she had turned mad in the last few weeks.

The people who held her captive had messed with her head that was for sure, but she was still his Ellie. His Ellie whose worst fear consisted of him leaving her. The thought of leaving her never crossed his mind, and it felt so absurd that it was hard to imagine her even thinking about it. Sure, the last few weeks had been different. They didn’t nearly spend as much time together. He was trying to figure out who he was and who he wanted to be, but after his confession in the elevator, Nick thought he made his intentions clear.

“Penny for your thoughts?” A female voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Nick turned his head to the side, coming into view with Dr. Grace Confalone.

He huffed, pursing his lips. She was one of the people who were keeping him away from Ellie.

“We won’t keep you away from her for long,” Grace told him, following his gaze into the room and onto his sleeping partner. “We want her to wake up feeling as safe as possible. Ziva and Gibbs are gonna be there. I hope his presence will bring her back to reality as fast as possible. Once we get her to see that she’s safe and no longer held captive, I’ll try to see how deep the trauma sits.”

“What does that even mean? Are we talking about hours or days, or even weeks?” He asked, shaking his head. “She needs me now more than ever. I should be with her in there.”

“I can’t tell you anything until I talk to her. The drugs they gave her are being analyzed at the moment. When we know the composition, we can find a way to treat her other than just talking to her, but until then it’s all I got.” She laid a hand on his shoulder just as Ziva and Gibbs rounded the corner. Grace leaned closer to him again, whispering, “And you’re right. She will need you. Make sure you’re ready to catch her.”

Ziva and Gibbs arrived next to them, before Nick could answer. He swallowed his answer, briefly glancing at the new arrivals, before focusing back on Ellie. She was still sleeping, peacefully, covered with a thick blanket up to her chin.

“How is she doing?” Ziva asked, standing directly next to him, following his gaze. “She must be exhausted.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Nick growled, crossing his arms in front of him. He was not in the mood to talk to Ziva or Gibbs or even Grace anymore. They were all keeping him away from Ellie and it was easier to blame them than to acknowledge the truth.

“I mean no harm, Nicholas,” Ziva replied, crossing her own arms. “I only want what’s best for Eleanor, and trust me, I’ve been in your situation before. I know what it feels like.”

Nick pressed his lips together, not wanting to say something wrong now. Ziva just wasn’t someone he wanted to talk to right now.

“We should go inside. She’ll wake up any second now,” Grace told them and Ziva nodded shortly.

“Torres, go sit in the waiting area with Jack and McGee,” Gibbs ordered him, and Nick once again had to press his lips tightly together to not lose his temper.

He was sick of people ordering him around and telling him what to do. He had played this case by the book, but he was about done now.

Ziva, Gibbs and Grace went inside of Ellie’s room, and Nick watched them for a second longer, before he turned around and walked down the hallway to the waiting area.

\------

Blinking a few times, Nick tried to force his heavy eyelids apart. His eyes felt dry and scratchy as if he had gotten sand into them. When he was finally able to peak one eye open, he was blinded by the bright light, and he quickly shut it again. Groaning, he reached his hands up to rub them, just to feel the stiffness in his whole body. Great, he had slept upright again. He tried to open his eyes again and it felt a little better this time and after adjusting to the bright light for a few seconds, he took in his surroundings.

He was still in the waiting room. He must have fallen asleep at some point and he shook his head quickly, glancing at his watch. It was just after 7am. He had slept for over 5 hours. A new record for him. Given the circumstances, it was weird, but he tried not to overthink it. He had barely slept the last few days.

They hadn’t let him see Ellie last night. Her condition had taken a turn for the worse. She was running a fever and her mental health was also still fragile. Grace had gotten her to acknowledge that she was in a hospital and save again, but they still hadn’t mentioned him. Apparently, she was calm, but still extremely jumpy with certain topics and loud noises.

Ziva hadn’t left her side, staying with her the whole time and maybe Nick was a little jealous of their newfound bond. Usually he was Ellie’s person and Ziva kind of took his place now. Deep down he knew this train of thoughts was absurd as Ziva would never be able to take his place in Ellie’s life, but it still stung.

Yawning, he crossed his arms in front of his chest as he leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes again. He was just so tired and a few seconds of shut eyes wouldn’t hurt.

“Who are you?” A small voice asked, and Nick quickly opened his eyes again, looking into the direction of the sound. On the chair next to him sat a little girl, maybe about 5 years old, with wavy brown hair held up in two high pigtails. She curiously looked at him with big, deep brown eyes. 

She wasn’t hard to recognize, even though he had never seen her in person before. She looked a lot like her mother, and Ellie had shown him pictures of her a while ago. McGee had also told him last night that he had contacted Tony and that he was catching the next flight to DC from Paris, but he was surprised that they actually got here this fast.

Focusing on the girl, he leaned his elbows on his knees, turning his head towards her, “I’m Nick.”

She giggled. “I know. Jack told me. She said your real name is Nicholas, but everybody calls you Nick. Just like me. My name is Talia, like my aunt, but everybody calls me Tali.”

“That’s a pretty name.” He sent her a soft smile. He had to admit that she was pretty darn cute with her sweet laugh and those little dimples on her cheeks. “Do you know where Jack and Uncle Tim are?”

The girl sighed. “Uncle Tim and Daddy left a while ago and Jack is getting coffee for everyone. She said Uncle Gibbs will get growly without coffee.” She leaned back against the back of the chair, grabbing her coloring book again.

Nick puffed out some air, looking away from Talia and onto the floor. He closed his hands over his face as his thoughts went back to Ellie. Was she awake again? Did her fever break? He really needed to talk to someone, but he couldn’t leave Tali alone in the waiting room. They parked her with him for a reason.

“Are you sad?” Tali asked in a sweet voice. “I’m sad sometimes too, because my Ima’s gone, but Daddy always makes me laugh again and then I feel better. Maybe I can make funny faces and then you’ll laugh too.”

Nick turned his head to the girl again, a chuckle leaving his lips. “That’s very generous of you, kiddo, but I don’t think this will help today.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Tali’s face moved into a pout. He regretted his words, just as another voice filled the waiting room.

“Talia DiNozzo, what did I tell you about talking to strangers?” A deep voice scolded the girl and Tali jumped up from her chair, putting her coloring book and pens down, before crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“That’s Nick, Daddy. He’s not a stranger.” Her voice left no place for suggestions and Nick had to suppress another smile.

“Well, this round goes to you, but don’t you get sassy with me.” The man turned to him, stretching out his hand. “I’m Anthony DiNozzo. I believe you heard about me from the team, and you already met the light of my life.” He pointed to Tali again and the girl giggled, running up to him and throwing herself into his arms.

“You’re funny, Daddy.”

Nick stood up, crossing the distance between them and grabbing Tony’s hand. “I’m Nick Torres. I guess you might have heard about me too.”

The older man chuckled. “Bishop couldn’t shut up about you whenever we talked.”

“That’s a bad word, daddy,” Tali scolded him, laying her hand on his cheek and turning his face to her. “You’ve got to buy me ice cream now.”

“Well, young lady, today is your lucky day,” he promised her, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. “You’ll get your ice cream, but first I’ve got another surprise for you. There’s someone who wants to see you.”

“Me? Is it Uncle Gibbs? I haven’t seen him in forever,” the girl exclaimed, a huge smile covering her face.

“No, it’s someone else, but you’ll be just as surprised and happy as I am,” Tony promised her, turning his focus back to Nick. “I believe you also have someone who you want to be with.” The older man sent him a knowing look. “They think she’s ready.”

Nick’s heart jumped at his words and he quickly looked past him to the corridor. His feet itched to run to Ellie’s room, but he stopped himself.

“Thank you,” he whispered, laying a hand on Tali’s back. “It was nice meeting you, Tali. We’ll see each other later.”

“Bye, Nick.” Tali waved at him as he made his way down the corridor. The girl was an angel and she was going to be so happy to be reunited with her mother. He felt bad knowing that he had blamed Ziva for everything that happened to Ellie. Ziva was a mother, who had to leave her child for the little girl to be safe and who knows if her family would be safe now. They still hadn’t caught the leader of the drug ring and if he understood correctly, Ziva had worked years on finding out more about the organization.

As he stood in front of the door, he softly knocked. The shutters were down, and he was anxious to see Ellie now. The door opened a second later, and Gibbs stood in front of him, staring at him. Nick held his gaze, until the older man stepped to the side, letting him enter the room.

Nick’s gaze immediately fell onto Ellie, who was sitting on the bed in an upright position, her arms wrapped around her body. She was wearing a short-sleeved hospital gown that made her look even paler than she already was. Her hair was in a braid, tugged away from her small face, making her cheekbones stick out even more. She was eyeing him with her big, hazel eyes, her gaze flicking up and down his body and over to Gibbs every few seconds. Her right hand was picking at the skin of her shoulder, leaving a red rash.

Ziva was sitting next to her on the bed, rubbing her arm and smiling encouragingly at him. “Remember what we talked about? Nick just wants to say hello to you. He’s been worried about you.”

Nick didn’t move an inch, afraid to startle her. He kept his feet rooted in front of the door, taking slow, even breaths.

Ellie’s gaze went to Ziva, her forehead wrinkled as she tugged on her bottom lip. “He’s not real. I don’t wanna see him again. It hurts so much,” she whispered unsteadily, and tears formed in her eyes.

Nick caught his breath and his heart stopped. Maybe this was a bad idea. He stepped back, but Gibbs stopped him with a hand on his back.

“No, Eleanor. We were held captive and they tested their drugs on you, remember? The drugs made you think that he’s dead and that he left you, but it was not real. It was just your worst fear,” Ziva explained in a calm voice, stroking over Ellie’s blond braid.

Ellie looked back to him, still eyeing him suspiciously. She continued chewing on her lip, but some of the tension left her body. He took it as a sign to step closer, slowly walking over to the bed. With each step, his partner started to fidget a little more in her seat, but he continued until he stood next to her bed.

As he sat down on the edge on the far end of the bed, Ellie jerked her legs up, wrapping her arms around them quickly. Her body started to shake, and Nick feared he had gone too far.

“Easy, Eleanor. Remember how to distinguish between dream and reality?” The Israeli woman asked her. “Be brave. I know you can do it.”

He didn’t quite understand, but Ziva gestured him with a soft nod and the movement of her eyes to scoot closer to them. He did, even though he felt like he was caging her in now. He left two feet of space between them, laying his hand on the bed.

It was her turn to react now, and he knew that he couldn’t do much else now. He still didn’t dare to speak. Apparently dream-Nick had talked to her and he was sure it would just trigger her again.

“What if it’s just a dream again? I can’t take it anymore, Ziva,” Ellie whimpered, turning into the other woman.

“Trust me, Eleanor,” Ziva encouraged her, stroking her head. “Touch his hand, and if you still want him to leave, he will.”

He hated that idea, but Ellie’s condition was far worse than he imagined. He would do anything to help her recover and if she needed space, he would give it to her, but this was his last chance. He moved his hand closer to her body, watching her every move.

She swallowed, taking a couple of unsteady breaths before letting her hand fall to the bed. It landed a fair distance away from his, but it was a step forward. He just had to be patient now.

Time passed too slow for his liking, and he wasn’t entirely sure how much time passed as Ziva encouragingly talked to his partner, keeping her calm enough for him to be this close. Ellie refused to look at him now, so he sat still waiting for her fingers to touch his own. At least ten minutes had passed, before he felt her fingertips against his. By now, Ellie was breathing heavily, her eyes shut tightly together. Her cheeks were wet, and Nick felt like crying too. Touching had been something natural for them before her kidnapping, and now the simple gesture of touching her fingers to his, took every last bit of energy from her.

Her fingertips had stilled against his and he gently moved his own along her fingers, teasing her fingers closer to his. He watched her as her body stopped shaking and her eyes slowly opened. He opened his palm, laying it flat onto the bed as her hand grabbed his, her fingers wrapping around his hand.

She slowly moved her head around to him, her eyes meeting his for the first time in forever. Tears formed in her eyes, as she cracked, “You left me.”

He shook his head, his own eyes watering. “I would never leave you, B. Never.”

Her bottom lip trembled. “You died in front of me.”

He shook his head again, scooting closer to her until they were just a few inches apart. He moved their hands up to his chest, placing her hand over his heart. “You feel that? It’s still beating. I’m right here.”

A sob left her throat and tears started to run down her face again. “It hurt so much, Nick.”

He felt a tear slip down his face too. “I’m sorry, babe. We tried finding you as fast as we could.” 

She reached up to his cheek, wiping the stray tear away, her thumb caressing the rough skin. He briefly closed his eyes at her touch, exhaling deeply as all of the worry from the last few days left his body.

“Please don’t leave again,” she whimpered as fresh tears started to run down her face. Her hand slid to his neck and her grip on him tighten.

He opened his eyes and lifted both his hands to frame her face. His fingers wiped over her cheeks, only smearing the moisture across them. He tilted her head up, their eyes meeting.

“I’m not leaving you, Ellie. You’re stuck with me. I promise,” he vowed, pressing a kiss to her forehead, before pulling her against his chest.

She was extremely light, and he could feel her bones sticking out everywhere. She was now sitting sideways in his lap, her legs still drawn up to her body. His arms were able to reach around her all the way and he buried his nose in her hair. For a second, he feared he could crush her, but Ellie molded herself into his embrace, her head coming to rest in the crook of his neck. Her tears continued to fall, and he started rocking softly from side to side.

Her recovery was going to be cruel, but he vowed to himself again to never leave her side. He would be there every step of the way and nobody would tell him otherwise. 


	3. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a year to finish this series. Never thought I'd take this long, but well. I have so many finished stuff that I need to work on it's unbelievable. As a fanfic reader, I'm mad at myself, but as a writer, I know that sometimes it's just impossible to write ... 
> 
> Anyway, here it is. It turned out ok, I guess.

Sliding the pan over the stove, Nick turned the heat down. He transferred the last pancake onto the pile on the plate next to the stove, before grabbing the plate and the maple syrup. As he walked around the kitchen counter, he glanced at the clock. It was already after 8 am and Ellie hadn’t gotten up yet. Placing the two items onto the set table in the living room, he made his way over to her bedroom.

It’s been two weeks since they found Ellie and Ziva in the abandoned warehouse building after their kidnapping. After a four-day stay at the hospital, Ellie had been allowed to go home and Nick had stayed with her ever since. He actually hadn’t left the hospital after they allowed him to see her. To be honest, he still hadn’t let her out of his sight for more than half an hour.

The day Ziva, Gibbs, and the doctors had allowed him to see her after her rescue was one of the most painful ones in his life. Her tear-stricken face was burned into his memory and her desperate pleading of leaving her alone haunted him in his dreams. He still remembered how small and fragile she felt in his arms. Gone were her soft curves, replaced by her bones sticking out in every direction.

Ellie crying had always hurt him more than he was comfortable to admit, but seeing her cry because of him, ripped his heart out. Knowing that he could cause her such excruciating pain was a hard pill to swallow. He felt a million different things and sometimes his thoughts were running wild, but he barely had any time to give them any room.

Ellie’s mental health was still fragile even two weeks after the last dose of the drugs, keeping him on his toes. The doctors had given her a mild sedative the first few days, giving her body more time to rest and heal. For the nights they had prescribed her sleeping pills, but Ellie had stopped taking them after a few days. She disliked the feeling they gave her, and Nick couldn’t blame her. While they knocked her out cold in the evenings, she had trouble waking up in the morning. Apart from being drowsy for half the day, she was also disoriented, which messed with her head again. The first time, she had slapped him across the face, and they had to call Ziva again to calm her down.

Now, two weeks later, Ellie’s panic attacks had slightly lessened. They rarely happened during the day anymore and if they did, Nick was always able to calm her down himself. He was her person again, which made him happy, but it also resulted in a nervous breakdown whenever he was out of her sight for too long. As a result, he never left her side. At least not for more than half an hour.

Apart from her panic attacks, the young agent was mostly quiet all day, lost in her thoughts. In rare moments, he got a glimpse of his old partner, but no matter how hard he tried, he could barely get her to smile. He felt like they were treading water.

He sighed, closing his eyes for a few seconds to gather his thoughts, before pushing the door to her bedroom open. He entered quietly as his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room. Ellie was curled up on her side, clutching his pillow in her arms. She seemed peaceful, still deeply sleeping.

Last night, she had woken up again screaming his name as tears ran down her face. He had felt her starting to toss around the bed almost immediately, but it had already been too late. Seconds later, the nightmare hit her hard and all he could do was gather her in his arms, whispering calmly into her ear. It took at least an hour for her to fall back asleep, which was why she was probably still sleeping.

Nick tiptoed over to his side of the bed, laying back down next to her. He actually had a side in her bed now, the right side to be exact. Sharing a bed with Ellie wasn’t particularly something new for him. They had shared a bed for a couple of weeks a few months back after she rescued Morgan Burke, but it was different this time. More intimate. Gone was the respectful distance between them, keeping them at least a few inches apart from each other while sleeping. He also didn’t feel the need to sneak out of the bed in the mornings, when he found her wrapped around him. Instead, he usually pulled her closer to him, holding her just a little tighter.

He carefully scooted closer to her, removing his pillow from her grip. Her hands reached for him almost immediately, finding his side as she pushed herself closer to him. Tangling their legs together and he rolled onto his back, pulling her with him. Her head rested on his chest and he pressed a soft kiss to her hair, which was up in a ponytail.

“Hey, sleeping beauty, it’s time to get up,” he whispered, rubbing a hand over her arm. “I made breakfast.”

Ellie stirred slightly, groaning softly. Her hand fisted his shirt, and she burrowed her face against his neck.

She definitely wasn’t an early riser that much hadn’t changed. She was a cuddler though, something that made him love her even more, if that was possible. With her constant presence, he was reminded of his feelings for her quite often, especially since she was much more deliberate about touching him. Most of the time she just held his hand, but sometimes she pressed herself close to him, eliminating every tiny bit of distance between them. 

“You have to get up, Ellie. We have stuff to do this morning,” he reminded her, his hand wandering up to stroke over the side of her head. “The pancakes are gonna get cold too. We don’t want that.”

She sighed softly, tilting her head up as her eyes slowly opened and she met his gaze.

Meeting her eyes, he smiled softly at her, his hand cupping her cheek. “Good morning, sunshine.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, a relatively recent habit.

“Morning,” she replied, her hand in his shirt flattening against his chest and coming to rest over his heart. “You don’t always have to make breakfast.”

“No, I don’t, but I want to.” He let go of her cheek, covering her hand on his chest. “Are you ready to get up? We shouldn’t be late.”

She tensed in his arms, her face going pale.

“No, Ellie. There’s no reason to be afraid. We’ll go there together, and I’ll wait outside like always. We’ve done that a couple of times now, and I was always right there when you were finished,” he assured her, giving her a quick squeeze. “Dr. Grace is helping you and you’ve made so much progress already.”

Three times a week, his partner had a session with Dr. Grace Confalone. While the therapy seemed to help her heal, it was difficult to get the blonde woman there. It was the only time she was separated from Nick and it didn’t sit well with her. The first few times were hard. He wasn’t able to leave the office, but now he was able to sit outside the room, but going there was still difficult.

“It makes me anxious,” Ellie answered in a soft voice as she traced shapes into his chest. “I get nervous when I can’t see you.”

“I get that, Ellie. I get nervous too, but you’re safe with Dr. Grace and she’s helping you. That’s one of the most important things right now. It’ll get easier and guess what?” He asked, pulling them up against the headboard into a sitting position.

Ellie didn’t answer him and just threw her legs over his lap, adjusting to their new position. She sat sideways, leaning against his shoulder, one arm wrapped around his back. Her naked legs distracted him for a second as he once again was unsure what to do with his hands. He settled them on her knees, focusing on her face again.

“Humor me, B.”

She sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t know, Nick.”

“Remember what I promised you at the hospital? What I promised you all these months ago when you came to me about your nightmares?” He paused, tapping on her knee. “What I promised you in the elevator after we fought?”

She swallowed, nodding her head softly. “I do.”

“I need you to say those words, Ellie.” He grabbed her chin, making her look at him. “I don’t think you believe them.”

She grabbed onto his arm, her grip tight. Searching his eyes for a few seconds, she took a deep breath. “I—it’s hard, Nick.” She shifted in his lap, biting her lower lip between her teeth.

“Repeat the words, Ellie.” His voice was stern and in retrospect, he might have been too hard with her. She was on the verge of panic, and that wouldn’t get them anywhere. “I need you to say the words ‘cause I don’t know how else it’ll get into this thick skull of yours.” He let his hand slide from her chin over her cheek, coming to rest against her neck, his fingers touching her hairline while his thumb rested close to her ear. He pulled her head towards his, their foreheads coming to rest against each other. “Close your eyes and just breathe, babe.”

His partner calmed down again, taking a few unsteady breaths before she could match her breathing to his. Her muscles relaxed, and she melted into his arms.

Her hand wandered up to cup his cheek as her thumb gently stroked the skin over his cheekbone, a gesture she used to calm herself these days.

“You won’t leave me,” she rasped, swallowing hard as her voice almost broke at her last words.

A soft smile spread over his lips, and he opened his eyes to find her looking at him. He gazed into her eyes, before pressing a feather-like kiss just under her eye. Her lashes fluttered shut for a moment and she inhaled deeply.

“I won’t ever leave you, B. As long as I breathe, I will not willingly leave you. You’re stuck with me,” he vowed to her, staring intensely into her eyes.

She nodded her head softly, before burying her face against his neck, both of her arms wrapping tightly around his torso. Her cold lips pressed gently against his neck, making him feel warm inside.

They hadn’t talked about their relationship again, but they were heading in the right direction. Nick knew that there was no one else for him. Ellie was the only woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The love he felt for her was overwhelming and one day soon, he could tell her again. After this entire ordeal, they could only come out stronger in the end.

\------

The back of her head was warm from the bright sun shining high in the sky behind her back. It was early July and the weather in DC couldn’t be better. The temperature stayed in the low eighties so far, making it tolerable to go outside. There was no doubt in Ellie’s mind that the first heatwave would come soon, but today she enjoyed sitting outside on the steps of Gibbs’ back porch in her light summer dress.

To be honest, she couldn’t remember the last time she had worn a dress. This morning, when she opened her closet, however, it was the first item of clothing that caught her eye. It looked like a long blouse with big buttons going down the front and a ribbon-like belt tied together to a bow at the waist. The fabric was light blue and when Ellie had put it on, looking into the mirror a few minutes later, she had felt pretty for the first time in a few weeks. She felt comfortable in her own skin again, a feeling she had forgotten.

It has been three weeks since she got released from the hospital. Three weeks in which she tried her hardest to find a new normal, something she had struggled with a lot, but the last few days had been easier. Waking up and getting out of bed wasn’t so hard anymore and she started to regain her energy, even entertaining the idea of going back to work. After she thought about working again for a bit, she realized that she was definitely not ready yet. Maybe in a week or so, she could start with some light paperwork, but the thought of being out in the field again was still making her anxious.

Her social life outside of work had stopped too, and it seemed like a nice idea to ease into her new normal with meeting her friends. She had sent a text to Kasie two days ago and the young woman was more than happy to organize a small gathering with their friends. They were having a barbeque at Gibbs’s house, and everyone had come.

His backyard had a modest size, but with all the people in it, it felt just a little cramped. She had felt only slightly uncomfortable in the beginning, but after everyone was done greeting her, they had spread out and the feeling vanished.

She closed her eyes for a moment, listening to her surroundings. Tony’s enthusiastic voice was telling a story about an old case, probably exaggerating, but Tim, Jimmy, Ducky, and Kasie, who she knew were sitting at the table with him, were listening politely. Only Tim interrupted him every so often, reminding him to stick to the truth.

The wailing of Morgan McGee made her open her eyes, briefly glancing to her right side, where the twins, Delilah, Breena, and Jack were sitting. Johnny was holding a soft, red ball in his hand, smiling cheekily at his sister whose eyes were squeezed together to thin slits, a pout covering her small face. Before she could start crying, Delilah intervened gently reprimanding her son. His smile disappeared, and he threw the ball back over to Morgan.

A loud laugh from Tony made Ellie turn her head to the other side, looking over her shoulder to see him vehemently shaking his head. As she turned her head back to the front, her eyes caught on Ziva and Gibbs. A smile covered the Israeli’s face as her gaze was focused on Tony and she shook her head too, before turning her attention back to Gibbs who was standing in front of the barbeque grill.

A shrink of laughter made Ellie turn her head back to the front, her eyes scanning the garden for the source, finding Tali and Victoria hanging on Nick’s legs as her partner tried to gently shake them off. The little girls had become fast friends as they were close in age, monkeying about the entire day already. They were both laughing hysterically, their heads thrown back, and their eyes squeezed together tightly in joy.

A smile spread over Ellie’s face as she heard Nick’s laughter matching theirs. He had shaken Tali off, picking her up from the ground by her legs and hanging her upside down in front of him. The young girl shrieked, her arms reaching for the ground, but Nick pulled her a little higher, making her laugh again as she came up empty.

“He’s good with her.”

Ellie flinched at the voice, her hand going up to her chest as her heartbeat began to race. 

Ziva sat down beside her on the porch, sending her a soft smile, and Ellie took a calming breath, willing her racing heart to slow down again. Her friend nudged her shoulder gently, and it was all it took for Ellie to find her focus again. She took a steadying breath, letting her gaze shift back to Nick.

“Tali adores him. She can talk about him for hours,” Ziva continued. “His name seems to be her new favorite word.”

Ellie let out a small laugh. “Don’t tell Nick, it’s only gonna boost his confidence. His ego is big enough already.”

Ziva chuckled, staying quiet as she watched her daughter who was standing on her own legs again, running circles around Nick who now had Victoria sitting on his shoulders.

As Ellie watched her partner play with the two girls, she came to a sudden realization. This moment was so simple yet, her heart began to flutter, skipping a beat, and right there and then she realized that she was utterly in love with Nick Torres.

She took a steady breath, unable to move her gaze from him as she let this newfound realization settle in. Suppressing her desire to jump up and stop his mischiefs with the girls, she leaned back, biting her lip to stop the silly grin from forming on her face.

“Don’t be a wuss and tell him how you feel,” Ziva urged her, giving her shoulder a nudge.

Ellie’s eyes wandered back to the other woman. “I’m in love with him,” she simply answered, letting the silly grin form on her face, not able to hold it in anymore.

Ziva laughed loudly. “Don’t tell me, I know. What’s stopping you from telling him?”

“Nothing.” Warmth spread through her and her breathing quickened at her own words. Everything seemed so easy in this moment, just like as it was meant to happen.

Ziva grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. “Then good luck.” She got up, turning to the three people running around the backyard. “Tali, Victoria, come wash your hands. Lunch is ready soon!”

The girls who were currently hanging on Nick’s hands, let go of him, turning on their heels and running towards Ziva who was going up the porch. As they passed Ellie, they smiled at her, waving quickly before disappearing behind her.

Seconds later, Nick flopped down beside her, close enough that their legs touched. He let out a breath of air, bracing his hands on the porch behind them. Ellie could feel the heat radiating off him and she pushed herself closer to him, not caring that he was a little sweaty. His head was thrown back into his neck, the sun shining brightly onto his face.

“These two girls have too much energy,” he moaned, rolling his neck around. “They are better than any workout.”

Ellie chuckled. “They adore you.”

A smile spread across his face, and he turned his head to face her, meeting her eyes. “They have me wrapped around their little fingers. These dimples are impossible to resist.”

Ellie shook her head in amusement, her hand reaching up to cup his cheek. “You’re good with them.” She stroked her thumb over the skin of his cheekbone.

His expression turned serious at her gesture and he sat up, one of his hands going to the small of her back. “You doing ok, B?”

Her lips ticked upwards, and her eyes locked with his. “I love you.”

He blinked, his forehead wrinkling as he processed her words. It took him about two seconds longer, before he leaned in, a shy smile covering his face as he whispered softly, “I love you too.”

A smile bloomed on her face, and she crossed the distance between them, connecting their lips. Her eyes closed on instinct and her entire body tingled as she felt his warm, rough lips against her own. He pulled her closer with the hand on her waist, his other hand finding her cheek as he brushed the softest of kisses against her lips. As their lips separated again, they hovered close and breathing the same air.

Ellie couldn’t help herself as she connected their lips again, pressing a chaste kiss against his lips that made him smile.

Kasie squealed behind them, and Ellie rested her forehead against Nick’s, closing her eyes.

“I have a feeling we’re never gonna hear the end of this,” Nick muttered, rolling his forehead against hers. “I feel like a teenager who got caught by his mom.” His warm breath danced across her face as he moved his lips to her forehead, pressing a sweet kiss against it.

“Nick! You have to sit next to me.” Tali’s voice shrilled through the air, seconds before she jumped onto Nick’s back. Her small arms wrapped around his neck, and her head appeared in between their own.

The young lovers separated, putting some space between them, and Nick reached around his back, pinching the child’s side softly. “Did you save us some seats yet?”

“Oh no, we gotta hurry!” She urged him, pulling at his shoulders. “Let’s go, Nick!”

Nick chuckled, standing up with the girl hanging around his neck, one of his hands holding her to his back while he held out his other hand to the young agent. “We gotta save a seat for Ellie too, but you gotta look out for your food ‘cause she likes to steal it.”

Softly shaking her head, Ellie grabbed his hand, their fingers intertwining as Nick pulled her up. “I could eat again,” she mused, pursing her lips.

“I’d be worried if you couldn’t,” Nick smirked, pulling her up the two steps of the porch.

When Ellie looked up, she was met with the stares of their colleagues, and she stepped closer to Nick on instinct, both of her hands now wrapped around his. An uneasy feeling settled low in her stomach, but before it could spread, Nick squeezed her hand.

“You better find yourself some seats, Bishop,” Gibbs’ voice drew her attention towards him. “Wouldn’t want to eat your steak cold.” She locked eyes with him and while he didn’t quite smile, he didn’t seem to be fazed about the display of affection Nick and she had showed a few minutes ago.

It calmed her down immensely, and she smiled softly, leaning her head against Nick’s shoulder.

Nick pressed a kiss against her head, before pulling her towards the table. “Let’s get some food into you! I don’t think I have the energy to deal with two hangry women today.” He pulled Tali easily over his shoulder, placing her on an empty seat as her giggles echoed through the garden.

He then turned to her, beaming at her as he pulled her close to him again, connecting their lips in a soft kiss that made her head turn.

“That’s enough, you two!” Tony hollered, breaking them apart again. “We all know you’re young and in love, but please keep the PDA to a minimum. There are just a few things I don’t want to see you doing, Bishop!”

“Like what, Daddy?” Tali questioned, looking at him with big eyes.

Ziva smacked his arm. “Tony!”

The entire group started to laugh loudly, and Ellie felt happy, savoring the feeling she had forgotten for a while. Surrounded by her friends and with Nick by her side, the journey ahead of her suddenly didn’t feel so scary anymore.


End file.
